Make fun of Ronnie James Dio at your own peril...
Soooooo, in an act of “Automatic Image Googling” I emptied my mind, typed, and up came images of (according to his website biography) “The grand wizard of classic rock. A poet of hope for the downtrodden. The single most important vocal technician in the history of heavy metal. All of these accolades have been garlanded upon the royal roar known as Ronnie James Dio.“ Of course to me, he’s more like a little troll that flashes the devil sign—and up he went as a seemingly harmless background image in this month’s newsletter.
Flash forward twenty minutes later, as I take a break from website updating to rush off to the bank and post office. Whilst using the Automatic Teller Machine and withdrawing $100 dollars, out shoots instead of the normal five $20 bills, four $20 bills and a single $100 bill. To my limited banking knowledge, NO ATM spits out $100 bills, and looking at my statement it only reflected a withdrawal of $100 not $180. Thus, the moral and ethical dilemma begins. Do I keep the $100 bill? Do I walk into the bank, which is open on this Saturday morning and “confess?”
Of course being either: a) honest; b) a complete pussy; or c) one who totally lacks business sense—I went in to see a teller, with the misguided hope of being rewarded for my honesty. Long story, less so, they had no idea what happened and exchanged the $100 bill for a $20 and shut down the ATM. NO reward, NO television crew rushing out to explain they had set up a hidden camera and their faith in humanity is restored, NOTHING, NADA, NEIN. The only logical conclusion is, I’m $80 poorer and it’s all because I dared mock Ronnie James Dio.
Figuring (perhaps naively) what more can go wrong from such Dio mockery, I am not removing his elfish visage from this page and I will find comfort in his confused poetry, “Ride the tiger / You can see his stripes but you know he's clean / Oh don’t you see what I mean“ Errrrrr, no I don’t, but thanks for asking.
Oh well, watcha gonna do? I’m sure all those who lied to launch pre-emptive war would have done the same thing at their ATM.
Anyway after that long-winded introduction, I invite you to click on the black and white cartoons on this page to see them enlarged, with further notes on their creation, and a handy button to buy the original art. Your email, and/or order form purchases are always welcome.
Until next time, I leave you with this cryptic Dio warning, “Don’t smell the flowers
/ They’re an evil drug to make you lose your mind.”
